Game ON!

When you have young kids, ie babies and toddlers, it can be really difficult, right? Right. When the girls were little I found myself wishing that they were older- no more changing diapers, being up in the middle of the night would be a thing of the past, and let's face it, not having to dress three people, including oneself, was such a novelty. I longed for that day to come.

Well, it's here, and it's been here for a while. And grateful though I am, it comes with other peculiarities.

This being one of them:

I'm innocently showering, minding my own business, spending some much deserved quality time with JUST MYSELF, no one happened to be knocking or pounding on the door. It really was just a sweet moment in time. So I tarried. And I tarried. And really, this amount of me-time should've tipped me off to something brewing, but alas, it didn't, because this me-time is so precious and I grab and appreciate every moment that I can.

As I was saying, I was innocently showering, basking in the heat of the spray, when suddenly I feel this icy blast of water hit my head and run like rivulets down my back. I gasp for air, sputtering, and then what do I hear? Tinkling notes of hilarious laughter that burst forward from my darling daughters as they just realized that they got one over on me. It's a rare moment that this occurs, and they found themselves incredibly proud.

Needless to say, I wasn't enthused, however I had to acknowledge and laugh that it really was quite clever. I don't know what size cup they used, but from the amount of cold water that was thrown on me, I am surmising that it was quite a large one. I'm about to up the ante chicas. Watch out!

GAME ON!

And to think that I was going to apologize to them for buying such crappy toilet paper!

Overworked Diaphram

I have the hiccups.

Normally I would never post about such a thing as having the hiccups. It's just not 'post-worthy.' Who wants to read about someone's hiccups? But they're not going away!

They've been coming and going ALL day. I never know what will trigger them. Did I breathe wrong? Did I yell at the kids? (Okay, so that could very well be it.) Was it when I put the 4th child in a time out that should've taken three minutes, but actually ended up taking 20?

Oh...now they're gone. Sweet Mercy!

Oh crap! I mean crud. (I'm trying to control my language) They're back. Now it's as if I just think about them and they come back. Maybe I oughtta hold my breath.

*Holding breath*

Nope. That didn't work. Ah well. I suppose I shall just suffer in silence. But now they're becoming painful.

AHHH so funny! The 4th child mentioned above just walked in with Andon's Cup that he wears to T-ball! And it's on inside out!!!! It looks painful. AHHHHH...so laughing right now, I'm practically crying, especially as I watch him walk away and I see these cute white bum cheeks peeking out behind the straps. (In case you don't know what I'm talking about, it's the SPORTS cup, or the "Special Underwear" that Andon is required to wear to play ball. That's what we had to dub it so that he'd wear it. On a side note, cause I'm easily distracted, the first official game they played you could see the boys rapping their knuckles on their 'cups' and laughing about how hard they could hit it and not feel a thing. Right there on the playing field! Right in full view for the audience's pleasure. Now that's funny!!!!)

Hey, what do you know? The hiccups are gone! Wow! The cure is to laugh! It's really true what they say about laughter- It really is nature's home remedy!

Or not. They're back.

*sigh*

What gives?

Yes Sir, Officer Sir!

Me, on my way to T-ball, looks in my rear view mirror to discover the flashing lights of Mr. Police Man.

Me, after having made Mr. Police Man chase me three blocks because I am an oblivious motorist, then turn on his siren briefly but enough to jolt me right out of my skin, follows me into the parking lot where I was going to park anyway, I say: "Officer, what did I do?"

I truly didn't know! And okay...I was going for the wide eyed innocent, damsel in distress look that apparently only works when you're in your twenties. Truly, it used to work!

Officer: "Well Maam, (MAAM????!!!) You rolled through the stop sign at 7-10 mph.

Me, thinking: (Oh crap! I'm sure I did since I don't stop at ANY stop sign. UNLESS THERE'S A CAR, I'm not that crazy.) But here's what I said: "Really Officer?" (Said with innocent disbelief, that apparently only works when you're in your twenties cuz he wasn't buying it!)

Officer: "Yes, I have you on my camera, do you want to see it?" (Now he said this like he's used to not being believed and having confrontations with people. Now really.. in his line of work? I could hardly believe it.)

Me and my split second, think on my feet thinking, cuz I'm quick like that...NOT!!, start thinking to myself, OOH- I should be nice and accomodating and maybe I'll get out of this potential ticket. So I say, "NO, I believe you. I'm really sorry! I was trying to not be late for my son's t-ball game, you know how cute they are when they're this little, and he just loves to play!" (I'm trying to appeal to his sporty side, after all- he's a guy. AND a grandfather. Well, at least I think he is. He was in his 50's.)

I smile.

He asks me for my license and registration.

Nice. Like I said...in your twenties...

He takes my drivers license and registration, and proof of insurance. Hello what? My insurance card is expired? What? Really? Shoot! Officer, I swear I have insurance!

He nods briefly and walks away. Does the guy have any sense of humor?

It takes something like 5 whole minutes before he comes back from checking out my police record. During that time Andon's asking my if I'm going to jail, and how come we can't get to the game. He reminds me that we're late. As if I didn't know! I was getting quite irritated with said Officer. I mean, it's not like I have a 20 page rap sheet that he has to look through! However, I figure that I could score huge points by leaning out the window slightly to respond to my son who's walking around the car at this point because he's unbuckled himself, to say somewhat loudly, 'No, mommy's not going to jail. The nice officer pulled me over because I broke a rule.'

See, I'm a good parent. I teach my kids to not be law breakers. Did that score me points? Well, WHEN I WAS IN MY TWENTIES IT DID!

I've gotten out of every ticket till this one. I've even gotten Doug out of a ticket! Apparently I was much more pretty...ummm I mean, PERSUASIVE, when I was in my twenties.

Officer: "Okay, so you don't have any points on your drivers licence." (Duh, that's cause I've gotten out of the other tickets! Well okay, so I didn't get out of the parking ticket, and the seat belt ticket. But the seat belt ticket was in lieu of the speeding ticket. I was 21. Do you see my point?)

He proceeds to write me a ticket.

Me: "Seriously Officer- you're going to write me a ticket? You can't just give me a warning???"


I am now a proud owner of a $204 moving violation ticket. And do you know the worst part of it? I haven't learned a darn thing! When I got back in the car to go home after the t-ball game, I rolled through 2 more stop signs! I can't seem to help it!!! Today though, I have to say that I'm much more aware of my car and it's proximity to the stop sign.

Baby steps.

As we crossed the crosswalk, Andon yells, "There's the police man that pulled us over!" I turn and with my sweetest smile and miss America wave, (elbow elbow, wrist wrist) I wave at him. And then under my breath I mutter, "Take that Mr Officer Sir! Now do ya feel guilty?"

That'll show him. You don't ticket a sweet YOUNG mother. Shame on you.

Baby steps. Baby steps.