Journal Jar Prattle #4

"What jobs have you had during your life? When? Where? What did you do?"

I've always liked working. There's just something about doing a job well. And having my own money was always really cool when you're young. Think about it? Your parents pay your bills, feed and clothe you, etc, and so any money you have is yours to do what you want with.

How I long for those days. (Sigh)

I was always babysitting when I was young, but then the summer I turned 13 I became a sort of nanny. I would go over to the house at 7:30 in the morning, watch three kids all day, and go home about 3:30. I did that for two summers. Then I realized that there was more money to be made in an actual job-job, so I started working at 15 at a fast food resteraunt (sp?). A friend of mine got me the job. I didn't know it until after I was hired that the owner only hired girls to work the counter because he believed they attracted more customers. Hence the cooks, with the exception of one, were male. It was a tiny, one franchise store. There were 5 cashiers and three cooks. Next door was an Allied, sort of a home depot but on a lower budget scale. There were some cute guys that worked there that would come over for dinner. Maybe there was something to the my boss's idea that girls attracted more business! I worked there for two years. Granted it wasn't my dream job, but we pretty much ran the place ourselves, and it was a really entertaining job to say the least. I sometimes miss those Allied boys. LOL! I suppose I just miss my youth.

I then worked for TJ Max until I graduated high school. I was one of the other high schoolers who worked nights and weekends. Gosh that was fun too! We all got to be good friends and so would hang out after work sometimes. Mostly just a party a lot of the time! After a few months they moved me up to head cashier and I didn't have to do anything but hang out and chit chat at the service desk. It doesn't sound like that much fun, but when you're working with a bunch of kids from other high school, and the store was dead, it was tons of fun!

After my first year at Ricks I came back home and got a job at a local specialty boutique. That one wasn't nearly as fun. Maybe because I felt like I'd entered the real world somehow. She offered me a management job that I turned down to return to Ricks.

Then I got married and moved to Logan. There I worked at a research company. Within a year I was made a supervisor and then onto the assistant to the boss. Not exactly my dream job, but it paid the bills. A few months later, Doug graduated and we moved to California, and I haven't worked since!! Well, at least at a job I get paid for!

Gosh I miss a pay check! I wonder what my pay would be for taking care of 4 kids and being "my kids mom." (Dr. Laura) Any ideas? I think it would at least be in the $100k mark.

School Starts!

School starts today! It's so weird not having the girls home. I've gotten so used to having them around that the house seems very vacant. But then the boys start fighting and it doesn't seem so vacant anymore. Funny thing. I seem to always feel this empty nest, so to speak, when school starts, but when school lets out, that's a bit of a knock to the head too. Suddenly they're home ALL THE TIME, when I'm used to having them gone. Then as I'm used to having them home, they go back and are gone for the bulk of the day. Up and down, up and down. Life really is like a roller coaster! Whoever came up with that analogy was spot on. I wish I could be clever like that.

This year I think my schedule is going to be even busier. (Like I need more of that!) However, time does fly when you're having fun! Even though I'm busy, I do enjoy my life and its pace. Perhaps it just makes me appreciate the down time when I have it. Not only are the girls in school, but the boys are in speech. So between trying to coordinate carpool, dance schedules, school schedules, piano schedules (this one I actually enjoy!) and now speech, and whatever after school activities the girls decide to do, this year is going to fly.

Today was Teaghan's first day at Middle School. Why do I feel like I've thrown her to the wolves? As I pull up to drop her and Jacob off she says to me, "Mom, maybe you should come in." I told her I would, but I'd have to park. Plus, there were no other parents standing around, so I wasn't sure she wouldn't be embarrassed to have her mother walk her in. She says okay and then walks off. No backwards glance, no hug. Nothing. I know, it's so sad. But really, I think she was just so nervous that all she could think of was getting into school and finding her friends. She shouldn't have too much of a problem as they're all wearing the same shirt!

So I pulled out of the parking lot and am heading home but I just keep thinking about her and wondering if she made it okay, so I turn around, park and walk in with the boys in tow. I can't see her anywhere, so I just sort of walk around the front of the school, cause it's open campus, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, but not wanting to walk into the middle of campus looking for her and possibly embarrassing her, so I just act like a fool and stand there with the boys. Like that's a whole lot less embarrassing! I finally see one of her friends mom's walk out and I ask her if she's seen Teaghan, and she said that she had, that all the girls had met up and were walking around. Whew! Now I could leave. The other mom had said that there was just a few parents over in the 6th grade area and that was it. She was feeling very conspicuous and her daughter was off with the other girls, so she decided to leave. I suppose we always want our kids to need us as much as we need them, but they seem to not need us the way that they used to. I suppose this is what I miss. Teag doesn't need me to walk her to her classroom. She doesn't need me to set up play dates. She doesn't need me to pack her lunch. My little girl is not so little anymore. Sure, she's still a kid, but she's not my baby anymore. She'll just need me in different ways. Hopefully she'll still want to talk to me about her day before she goes to sleep, or if someone hurt her feelings. Hopefully she'll need me to help her with her homework, though I don't know for how much longer, and most importantly, hopefully she'll just still need me. For something. For ANYTHING. Life has just gone by so darn fast that I feel like I'm running along a horse, holding onto the reigns, hoping that I can just slow it down. Luckily I'm not dragging my feet behind the horse anymore, trying to stop it. I suppose as one ages one gets a little more perspective. Fortunately I still have Britt that I can walk to school!

So with every year that goes by, and every grade the kids will go through, makes me appreciate the wonder of my children and the reality that they don't stay little forever. That every moment needs to be an opportunity, because every day goes by, every second counts down to the time when they no longer need you like they did when they were really little. I suppose this is why I get nostalgic when school starts, because it's one more year that they grow and get older. And thank heavens they do! To be able to watch my kids, especially the girls, grow and mature has been the most amazing thing to behold! I can't wait to see what they're like as young women. On second thought, maybe I can. I don't want to speed this up anymore than it already is!